Oops – Chapter 2

As stated right off when I started this blog, I would share stories of progress, commitment and yes, screw-ups made on our journey to retirement.  Chapter 2 you ask?…. There have been a few screw-ups this past year as I ready for retirement.

I was with my wife, at the checkout counter in our local grocery store.  Since we live in a small community, it is a store where the locals are recognized, known and banter occurs with the staff.  We were checking out with a cart full of ingredients for a fantastic 4th of July party.  We were talking with the woman Checker when my wife turns to me and asks….

“Do we need ice?”

Me: “uh….good idea, yes”

Her: “Then go get it”.  I trotted over to the ice case, pulled a bag, and carried it back to the register.  My wife looked at me as the Checker scanned the bag.

Her: “Do we need more than one bag?”

Me: “uh, yeah, probably”

Her: “Then go get it”.  Dutifully,  I trotted back over to the case and grabbed another bag and made my way back. The woman Checker, my Wife and the woman packing the bags all looked at me and chuckled. So, self-defacing as I am, I laughingly said….”MEN!, Geez”.  The woman bagging opened up with, “Oh my god, yes!  You have to explain absolutely everything to them”. …..silence set in and I stood there, slack-jawed, in awe with the comment.

Really?  Do men really need everything explained to them?  (Don’t answer that ladies)  Okay, if so, now would be a great time to explain to me how to stick to a retirement plan, the date set, budget planned, toys ready to use.   Which brings me to my Oops.

It must be genetics that made me do it.  My brother also planned their retirement to-the-day.  Then he took his car in for service.  While waiting to get picked up by his wife, he did what any red-blooded America man would do, at a car dealership, with time to spare, wandered the lot.  He stopped in front of a new Porsche and gazed at the fine craftsmanship, the  fancy interior, the smooth lines when from across the lot came the familiar sound of his wife….”Step away from the car!”   No way was it in the plan,  No way was there a need to purchase a fine new automobile.  No way was she going to let him go through with a purchase of this scale.  Unless…..a year later than planned……

One day, a couple of weeks ago, I was washing my truck; a 2007 Nissan 6 cylinder Frontier.  A good truck but no ‘creature comforts’.  There was barely room for the dog to lay down behind the seats.  The body was in good condition.  I just had major work done to the brakes.  The tires were good but one had a slow leak.  No rust. Plain fabric seats.  Just 25,000 miles on it.  A good truck but not a great one.  You know, a great truck that can easily pull the 4500 lb trailer up long canyons, with leather interior, heated seats, lots of power, and enough room for the dog, my tools and a cooler in the back seat area.  “ooooh….Honey,  look at this truck”, I said, handing her my laptop.  Cars.com, a great shopping site for us guys on a rainy day.

“Yes, nice.  But we don’t need a truck.  You have one”.

“I know”, I replied.  “But this has room, and power, and comfort, and sliding mirrors, and the AirForum pages I read says it is a great tow-vehicle”.

“Yes, nice.  But we don’t need a truck.  You have one”.  I didn’t recognize it at the time but I think this is her way of ‘explaining’ things to me.

I shot back, “But its red, it has a backup camera to help hitching up the trailer. It has heated and cooled seats!  And the guys on the Forum say that with the heavy tow package, this could tow 1200 lbs!”  I think I had her……

“Yes, nice.  But we don’t need a truck.  You have one”.

Hmmmm….. Okay, I have had training in negotiation.  I know how to turn facts into an uncompromising propositions.  I should be able to talk my way….oh yeah!  “But Honey, if we plan to use something like this on our long trips instead of YOUR car, we save all that mileage on YOUR wonderful car”!  There, that should do it.  She has to agree with that logic.

Putting down her magazine, she turned to me and answered, “Okay”, do you want to go look at at trucks today”?

Me: “Yes”.

Her: “You do know what this means, right?”.

Me: “Uhhh…..”.

Her: “There is no way this fits in our retirement budget”.

Me….thinking hard now…..Damn!

Explaining aside, it is in our DNA.  We’ve got to have fun, got to have our toys.  And no matter what, I can create logic in my head, where there is none, that says this is going to work out.  Which is why I now have a shiny new red truck sitting in the driveway and have extended my working days for another full year.  I can’t wait to hitch it up to the trailer and take off…in a year.  September 3 is the new date folks….unless there is more explaining to do!

I have now learned…. and Robert Burns said it…. ‘best laid plans of mice or men go awry’  [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_a_Mouse ]

Writing The Perfect Retirement Resignation Letter

When it rains….

Strange how when you buy a certain kind of car….you begin seeing them everywhere.  Same goes for the thought of retirement.  I seem to be hearing about so-and-so is retiring, or someone’s family member just retired everywhere I turn.  Even my favorite post forum has a thread titled ‘my last paycheck’.  It pours….

I met up with a long-time friend of mine.  He retired the first of this year.  Whoa!  He owned his own company.  Now this brings up a very interesting question… how do you tell your boss (you in this case) you plan to retire?  

” Hey, self, can I talk to you?  I plan to retire the end of the year…okay?”
“What?, Self, no, you can’t, not now.  This company won’t run with out you”.
“But I need to, My knees hurt, I want to play with my new boat….lots I want to go do, go see…. you know the drill”.
“But I can’t just let you go now!  “We have a big project underway”.
” Others can do it”
“Look, Self, how about I give you a bonus?  Take a month off?  Go to Hawaii or something.  But for God’s sake, don’t quit on me”.
“Naw…Look Self, its too late, I’m done”.

And so the conversation must have gone.  Actually, it must be easier to actually work for another person who you can tell … “So long”.  But how do you tell them?  What’s your ‘exit strategy’?

My Brother was asked into his boss’ office one day to talk about succession planning and performance.  His boss closed the door and asked him….”So, what do you see yourself doing in 2-5 years?”.  My Brother responded….”Retired”.  Now THAT is is one clean way to do it…

I saw another acquaintance.  This guy has told me for years, don’t retire.  He is a CIO of a small company in the city.  He says, as long as they keep paying him, he is going to work.  I always wondered about this logic.  Can you really just put up with things and go along with the current as long as they keep paying you?  Well, it turns out, he retired the first of the year.  Someone bought their company so, that bye-bye was easy.

This brings me to where I left off in my last posting….how to draft my resignation letter.  I did not get a lot of favorable comments on my first draft.
Here is how it read….

Dear Suckwad
On September 19, 2014 I will retire. 

Bye

So, after doing a lot of online research, re-reading Strunk and White’s Elements of Style, and Emily Post, I have learned more about the keys to a great resignation letter.  Below are my edits (in red) which include the keys to a successful resignation letter.  Read along as these keys can apply to any resignation letter.

First, always, always, remain professional.  This is important if you don’t want to burn bridges or have Special Forces come after you.
Add your manager’s preface to  their name

Dear Mr.  Suckwad
See how nice that reads now?…professional, clean….a good start.

The next key is to clearly state the intent of your letter.  You should give evidence of what you are thinking and include key dates. Let them know that you have thought long and hard about your decision.  This becomes the formal request….
This letter is to inform you that on September 19, 2014 I plan to retire unless you can come up with a big enough incentive to keep me around.  

The next key item in your letter is the thank you for all of the support and opportunities afforded to you by the company.  It is also good to offer assistance in the transition.
I have enjoyed working for the company these past 14 years.  It has provided me with life experiences including challenging work and heavy travel to obscure places.  I was fortunate to learn the difference between working for my managers and working for true leaders. I am happy to help transition the next person in this role, by teaching them what is really important and who to trust. 

Sometimes, a brief explanation of the circumstances leading to this decision may help smooth the transition.
Retirement will enable me to get my life back, play with my toys, go where I want, run naked in the lawn and generally not worry about status reports, client concerns or the incessant need to monitor the performance of every person.

Then there is the closing.  Be crisp, to the point and don’t linger on writing too much.
There it is.  I am done.  September 19, 2014 is the date.
Bye

And there you have it….the perfect letter.  So be sure you get your manager’s email address correct and be sure to send this letter before you send the email blast to all your co-workers announcing your exit strategy. I’m taking my tongue out of my cheek now…..

Accelerating On The Back Stretch….

Do you remember when you moved out from under your parent’s roof?  Do you remember the feeling of being on your own with no one to inform where you are going, when you will be home?  Maybe you went away to college, or got married like we did.  What ever, the tether was broken when we left and we were free to decide what is important in the moment.  ….Well….I want to feel it again.

Here I am, only 6 months from retirement and still tethered to my desk, my PC and my crackberry phone.  I have had the luxury of backing off work a little and spending more time doing things I want.  But I still feel very tethered.  Yes I am getting a paycheck, yes I am still employed full time, yes I still have a responsibility… so suck it up dude and quit bellyaching….right?  Okay, wait, I want to explain.  Since moving to a less stressful role last year (more here), I am finding I have a couple of hours throughout the week to sneak away and do something I think I would do when retired…hmmm, I want to go down to the boat, so I do…. or I want to work in the shop…. or sure, I will go with you into town shopping.  But I have to strap on my sidearm (Blackberry) and make sure I am caught up with emails.

Actually, I think my wife put in more hours working last week than I did…. funny that, she works part-time.  So as I go into the back stretch toward retirement, I have started thinking maybe I can stomach this work thing a little longer.  You know, if the hours stay like they are and I can escape during the week, why not?  Benefits would extend, I keep getting a paycheck, I can escape periodically, I still have to login every morning, keep up with emails, join confeRENCE CALLS….STRAP ON THE DAMN BLACKBERRY.  Aaargh… what am I thinking?  Sir, move away from the keyboard!

Again, what was that feeling like…when we moved out of our parent’s house and into our own apartment ….it was a long time ago….came and went as we wanted, making our own decisions for the day, not answering to a boss (not you Dear), just doing what we wanted? …. Yeah that was it.  Boy, that was nice… I kinda felt… I don’t know, more grown-up.  Now at almost 61 years old, I want to be a kid again and shirk this working stuff.  I guess we can’t have it both ways…..BAH!

Meanwhile, my retirement letter is still in draft state…a little rough, I admit.  Actually, it only says:

Dear Suckwad
On September 19, 2014 I will retire. 

Bye

Okay…it needs some work…a little polishing perhaps. Maybe it needs a nice border?  But hey, that date looks great in print, right?

Retirement-ism…..What He Said

I think I have ‘Retirementism’.  It is a rare symptom of those who’s primary focus is on retiring.  Yep, afraid so.  I learned of this from an old movie titled, “You Can’t Take It With You”, starring Jean Arthur, Lionel Barrymore, and Jimmy Stewart….have you seen it?

Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Penny, why don’t you write a play about Ism-Mania?
Penny Sycamore: Ism-Mania?
Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Yeah, sure, you know, Communism, Faschism, Voodoo-ism, everybody’s got an -ism these days.
Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: When things go a little bad nowadays, you go out, get yourself an -ism and you’re in business.

So that’s my ism; Retirementism.  I have only 244 days left, according to the clock on my desk!  I glance at this constantly and bite my tongue when fellow workers talk about their plans.  I keep quiet for now but, on that day, I will be repeating another favorite line from ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’, where Graham exclaims, “This is the day!, This is the day!” when he made his mind up to retire.  My ‘ism’ isn’t too bad.  I can still function throughout the day but there are periodic “episodes” where things get a rosy hue and my cheek muscles restrict resulting in an upturn of the corners of my mouth.  There is a slight tendency to whistle and what disturbs most around me is this look I have, seeming to say, I know something you don’t (aka ‘goofy grin’).

Retirementism also causes you to look for references of retirement in everything from stories, to movies, to interactions with people, even to commercials….and I am not talking about commercials with people holding hands in a bathtub by some lake.  These references are everywhere nowadays.  “Look at the Sony ad, isn’t that an Airstream like the one we will use for our travels?” I asked as I scan back to view it over again….a magazine article in the airport about Best Places to Retire!- I quickly thumb through it….a TV ad about technology classes or language classes, all things I have on my list….an art tour with paintings, woodworking and photos like I want to do more…..Uncle Si is retire-working, Jay Leno retiring from the Tonight Show, my dentist and his wife just retired….and it goes on.  These references are all around us and like buying a new car and seeing more and more of those cars on the road, I am sensitized to retirement references – Retirementism.

Do not fear, this strange symptomatic phenomena is not contagious unless you too have similar designs on your life…breaking free, doing something new and different, getting on the road less traveled…and so on.  It is a refreshing break.  Here, tell you what, I will leave with some favorites from my reference list…. enjoy

“You can keep working and earn this much money or retire and make the same amount”, From a co-worker who planned properly and was told this by his financial advisor….the same one I have!

“Maybe it’ll stop you trying to be so desperate about making more money than you can ever use? You can’t take it with you, Mr. Kirby. So what good is it? As near as I can see, the only thing you can take with you is the love of your friends”.
You Can’t Take It With You, Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff (Lionel Barrymore)

“Before I retire, I plan on Part Time – part of the time I will work and part of the time I will play”, me

“Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to”.
Harry Emerson Fosdick.  Good inspiration.  I definitely have a long list of hobbies, plans, things to learn.

“The older the violin, the sweeter the music.”
Lonesome Dove (1989) – Gus McCrae (Robert Duvall)

Enjoy your plans….

Of Dreams and Shiny Things…

30 minutes after pulling her shiny Airstream trailer into its campsite she heard a knock on the door.  It was a neighboring camper asking about her trailer, how she liked it and really wanting to see inside.  An hour later, another camper came knocking, then another.  Finally, wanting a little peace and quiet, she hung a sign on her door that read ….

She had a whole table full of people the following night.
That was a true story told to us while sitting in a new shiny thing. It smelled of new leather…..dreaming…that is what we were doing. Just sitting and talking about the what-ifs and dreaming about having a way to get out on the road and travel.  We aren’t fixin to buy….honest.

Having just returned from a 10-day road trip with my brothers, I wanted to share a trip like that with my lady.  We have long talked about traveling when we retire, I guess like most folks.  We have frequent flyer miles, hotel points, and had planned to hit the highway in a rental car.  But honestly, I am very tired of hotels, restaurant food and airline security gates.  I would like our own bed and cooking.  I want to take our pup along in any direction we thought fun.  Get to places where we can wade streams, paddle on lakes, hear ocean waves, smell pine needles, and explore off-beaten towns.  It is the dream of many and some take up the lifestyle permanently.

So here we are, less than 12 months from retirement – with a solid plan in place.  Everything is ready, just mark time, buck it up and stay the course.  No frills now, please.  Keep your wallet in your pocket!  “Stick to your plan” says the angel in one ear….  Then we hear “ah, go for it and buy a caravan”, says the devil in our other ear.  Gulp!

Ah, smell that new leather!  Oh, and we can store a BBQ in there!….
We have always confided each other on major purchases and walked away when either of us did not ‘feel good’ about it.  Just the idea of buying a big ticket item like this scares me….. So here we are, sitting in a new shiny thing, about 19 feet long with leather upholstery, lots of gadgets,  and the means to take us away (cue the dreamy music and in swept fog).  WAIT!  Hands off the wallet…..keep that credit card in its place.. Look at the bottom line.  Keep working and stop dreaming!!!….. But….Yellowstone, Glacier National Forest, Oregon beaches, the Rain Forest, Cody Wyoming…..ahhh, just think we could really do this.  NO!  Southwest waiting lines, Alaska Frequent Flyer blackout dates, Marriott resort fee add-ons, Avis cars with burn scars….that is for us.  Yet, the open road beckons with big Route 66 signs.

There are many ways to see the open roads and believe me, we looked at all our options, at costs, at the lifestyle we would encounter…..”oh look, it even has DVD player with bluetooth!…. OKAY, LET’S DO IT!

Meet our newest quest….the new, silvery, shiny, trailer.  It is an Airstream Flying Cloud 19.  We will pull it around with either of our vehicles since it is light enough for both.  It will also give us maximum flexibility to decouple and drive to sites vs the motorhomes we were researching.  We like the retro, classic styling and the fact that they do not lose much value (at least not as quick as some).  And there is an Airstream Forum with all kinds of information and help.  Being new-bees to trailering, I am sure this will help.

Ahh….now we can really dream….can’t we?   To hell with rational decisions!   We get delivery in 2 weeks, until then, we need to come up with a name….thoughts anyone?  I am thinking…”Rowlin”

Ole Dogs – New Tricks?

Sometime between this (1959)….

And this (1972)….

…. was the last time I traveled with my Brothers.  The four of us often took journeys in the Country Squire wagon with our parents and fought over who got middle seat and thus, the first to claim they were car-sick.  This weekend, the 4 of us ole dogs are climbing into a pickup, throwing our packs into the back, charging our smart phones and Kindles, loading the GPS and heading out on a 10-day road trip to rediscover the Oregon Trail and Butch Cassidy’s last stand.  This is a brainstorm of our youngest brother who, might I add, NEVER HAD TO SIT IN THE MIDDLE!

This is a good test of road tripping when I am retired.  You see, My oldest brother and my next youngest (see ‘Slick’ in the picture above) are both already retired and I plan to be next.  We will see how this goes and barring any quibbling over meals costs, frequency of stops or music tastes, it should go smoothly.  We do not have any reservations, just a plan to stop, when tired, and find a bed-bug place in the smallest of towns (oooh, fun!).   I do look forward to seeing the sites and noting places to bring my bride on a future trip (please see earlier post concerning the need for an RV to sleep in instead).

There are places along our route I have never visited but have on my list.  There are many Oregon Trail interpretive centers (I didn’t know they used a different language), historical markers. etc to help understand what life was like back then.  And then there is Hole In The Wall and places where the outlaws hung out.  Lots to see, lots to explore with my 3 hermanos.

So what’s the new trick you ask?  How about how 4 guys, who have not traveled together in 4-5 decades, learning to get along for over 240 hours in a space of about 7.5 ft X 6.5 ft.  Brave men all, departing comfortable lives and embarking on a dangerous course, looking for untold adventure, knowing full well they will get beat to the pulp if they don’t return to the wives when scheduled.  How’s that for a movie trailer?

In life, we have all gone our separate ways.  But now as we set out, with our ponies hitched up to the wagon, we will merge our talents and seek our destinations.  Unlike the early settlers on the trail, we aren’t looking for a better way of life, just to rekindle the spirit we had as brothers.

So there is Brother (A) who has this trip Excel’d on his iPod (along with a collection of movies about bandits and outlaws).  He has calculated distance to/from/between including time and allotments for beer stops.  A collector of rocks and history, I am sure he is looking forward to getting off the main roads and using the sun and horizon, he can calculate the exact location where we spit.   Then there is Brother (C) who has each waypoint and pee stop (read ‘tree’) plotted on his GPS along with a complete 3-ring binder noting all interesting sites and signs along the journey.  He has traveled these roads before and spoken each tree personally.  Having fully studied the maps, streets and trips, his Rand-McNally-like plans will help us keep on track.  Brother (D), the youngest and one who only remembers the blissful life of traveling with his brothers in the early days, will ensure that we have adequate meal planning, BBQ supplies, and a fully stocked cooler.  He has worked in these parts on the crew at Yellowstone and is pretty darn good cook.  It’s his truck that will be gassed and ready for the trail but not waxed…..this he leaves to his skillets and spatulas which are seasoned and ready.  Me? Well, never having been this way before, and lately heavily traveling only by plane/resort hotel, I plan to seek a different, slower life as part of this road trip. “oh look, a rock!”   I will have my camera, PC and Kindle to log the journey and blog away on how these ole dogs get along for 10 days. Plus, I plan to bring along a couple of good bottles of wine (“Hey,  I been there and there’s nothin, Jack”).

It will be a fun time and I am looking forward to a road trip of this magnitude.  Weather….will be weather… and we are not entirely sure what we will find out there.  But its a chance to be together again…just like before except no one has to settle for the middle seat!  Here’s looking forward to being with you guys!!  I’ll bring some good music….okay?

Here is a snipit of the itinerary we plan to follow with many stops along the way.  Unless, of course, these ole dogs see a squirrel….

Just Don’t Say “No”

Oh the tragedy of “no”…. The the mental scars where once was life….The desperation, the despair.

My wife often shares her experiences from dance classes where she accompanies the dance instructor with piano.  Mondays are the interesting days.  Mondays are when twelve or so little 3 year-olds come for class with their hair in wispy buns, wearing clean, pink ballet slippers and sporting the biggest eyes you ever saw.  Smiles cannot get any bigger as they trounce up the stairs, 2 feet at a time on each tread, towing Mom, Dad or Grandma behind.  They hurry upstairs to the studio for their creative movement class where they learn about sharing, spacing, waiting their turn, counting, listening to the music and learning what to do.  Sometimes, on a rare occasion, there is one child who ‘expresses herself’ a little too much by pushing or becoming uncontrolled.  She is the one that has never heard the word “no” spoken to them… in 3 years, never a “no”!  Yet here in class, they may be told “no, you must stand up” or “no, don’t push that person” or “no, don’t lick the mirror”.  No.  When that word leaves the teacher’s lips, slides across the floor to the child’s toes, winds up her clean pink tights, and penetrates her 3 year-old ears, she starts to shake as others stare at her.  What is this word no?  Why is it bad?  Why me?  Then the shock sets in and totally rocks her world.  Her eyes begin to grow even wider.  Tears well up and slide down redden cheeks like the edges of a warm strawberry cone, and then we hear a large gasp of air just prior to the wails that rise from their rounded belly.  Oh my god, what did you do…..

Come to think of it, I don’t like to hear the word ‘no’ as an adult. We call it micro-managing. And, as a 59 year-old adult, I know when I might expect someone to tell me “no”.  So, thus,  I was on guard today as we met with our financial advisor to ask…what if I retired today?…Don’t you dare say “no”.

We came prepared with 3 basic questions

1. What if I retired this summer and what would that do to our plan, when would the money run out?
2. Knowing the plan was solid if I retired next year, what do we need to do with the funds to prepare?
3. What strategy should we use for pension payouts…. lump sum or annuity?

So I was ready, sweating, ready to wail if this guy told me NO.  But he didn’t.  But, nor did he tell me I could.  What he did was to work us through the scenarios showing at what year the monies would run out if we retired now, took out (x) dollars per month, and didn’t sell the house.  Then he showed us the inverse, how much we could we take out each month to live on, if retired now, and had the monies last until we were 100.  Then he worked a couple more scenarios retiring next year at different retirement income levels.  In the end, we could retire now but there would be too much of an impact to the way we want to live.  So, I have to keep working until at least this January which makes sense as that is when pension and 401K contributions from the company are applied.

He also told us that the question isn’t should we move money around upon retirement, but the question is are we well diversified.  Many people think you must move money into bonds but those are earning low rates now with the ridiculously low interest rates and it is best to hold more stock as prices rise.  We are diversified well with stocks, mutual funds, dividend-producing stocks and some bonds.  So he suggests we hold tight and revisit it in 4 months.

As for pension payouts, we ran the numbers.  What the balance is at age 62 versus 65.  The difference is only 3% which means the money is making 3% for the years between 62 and 65.  So it would be best to take the lump sum at 62 and manage it yourself if your investments make …say 6-7%.  The annuity payments show that it would break even at year 13, or when we were 75.  If we passed prior to that, the money vanishes.  If we lived longer, then we would make out except we can do the same with managing the lump sum amount on our own and it never goes away.

So….whew.  I tell myself I need to keep on truckin until this December when we will revisit the numbers.  Maybe this January I say “chow” or I continue to stay on till next summer.  I just appreciated hearing what the options were, the impact to our assumed life plan. and not hearing someone tell me “no”.   I’ll take a “maybe” any day!

Turning Left Without Signaling

Ever heard of a “Boston Left”?  It is when the light turns green, you gun it and turn left in front of the oncoming traffic.  That’s me this week…
a Boston Lefty!

Well, its here, a new work week and I have to remind myself that there are only 15 months left to go…..(deep sigh here).  I am back in the saddle after 6 weeks away and trying hard to focus on exercise and not emails, moving around and not sitting, thinking of what I need to do now vs. stressing over the what the future holds.  You know, its tough!

I have been back at work 3 days now and my world has forced me to make a Boston left. In those few days, my belly tightens, my brow furrows, and I again develop a “harrumph!!!” attitude and I know that is not the real me.  I came back to work to find I have a new manager who believes I went AWOL and formed a plan that excludes my role. Okay I think, what is my plan that excludes his role?  So I poured another cup of coffee and met with my personal CFO/CAO/COO (and loving wife).  “Dear”, I said (I call my CFO that), “Dear, I have decided to go in a different direction and lose this job”.  Whoa, whoa, wait…not quit the company, not the income, not work but just this role, this job. You see, I work for a large company, always have, and the one thing they provide, for employees with initiative, is an opportunity change in jobs while staying in the company.

So where is the SEARCH button? I sit here with the job postings web site in front of me.  The screen refreshes and shows me that there are 9 pages of jobs in this company that fit the criteria entered.  Three are in the field of HR which I used to do and enjoyed, pages of consultant jobs, and some VP jobs….no not those. Too much stress.  And no, I do not want to be a Tax Compliance Officer or a Payroll Specialist.  And scratch the Sales Analyst role.  I don’t mean to offend anyone here but a Printback Operator, whatever that is, is just not me.

So I, instead, jot down my criteria and qualifications. Draw lines between the parallels and bingo…. I could be a starving artist.  Wait, no. What I actually would like to do is to work with clients around their organizational changes and strategies. Once again, bingo, its called Change Management.  So I have told my new manager that if they want to “go in a different direction” (corporate speak for your ass is grass), then I would like to “go in a different direction” (my speak for I don’t need you) and transition to a Change Management Consultant role(which would be way less stress).

My daughter says I am in a “protected class” now (over 40) and that the company I work for should accommodate my move to another position.  Right.  Businesses may have policies to protect from discriminations but managers still control decision making and do not understand that stress at work needs to be managed.  Jobs need to be redefined where possible to reduce stress – with more team sharing/teamwork, better communication, better support.  But this a long conversation for another time…..

So I have quickly made the left turn ahead of traffic.  Whew!  If I transition to this new role, I can plan to throttle back a bit and have a role that I can enjoy for another 15 months or maybe more.  Stay tuned…. and don’t honk at our Boston friends.

Retirement Decision – Moving

We haven’t share this yet…. with anyone, so here goes.

We met with our financial advisor regarding our retirement plan and came to realize that we want (need) to find somewhere we can live at less cost…at least for a few years. It comes down to this.  If we find somewhere where we can live on $2,000 less per month for 5 years, then we can retire this summer.  If not, then I have to keep working for 2 more years.  This was a stark realization and the more I research the topic of retiring “early”, the more I hear about cheaper places to live that provide lower taxes, better weather, and a chance to have an adventure for a few years!

We have been researching for a while now, on the best location, whether near family, near water, in other states, even other countries. Where we have traveled, plays a big part in our decision on where to relocate. Other major factors include weather, healthcare, and ability to see family or have them visit.  Therefore, friends, we have decided to list our house this summer, once the final projects are completed.  And, we have booked a rental house for a year in …. St Martin in the French West Indies.  St Martin has a French side and a Dutch side and a cute little town, U Gek.  We have traveled and stayed in both sides of the island but we preferred the Dutch side for the shopping, restaurants and better healthcare. Travel to/from the states will require a couple of hops but all the major airlines go there.  St Martin is a major part of the tourism and trade in the Caribbean.

I know this may be a shock to some and maybe some disbelief, but you have to see U Gek to believe what the future holds.  Look here for more information

Ships Log w15 – Ship’s Grog

There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.

As you will learn, I have many hobbies.  Some say, I collect them.  One of which, could be costly if I let it but, then again, aren’t they all?  Hobbies are funny in that they are needed to cause diversions from the grind yet we feel we have to justify them.

I love wine… well, actually, I love learning about wine.

I don’t want to be mistaken as a vinophile or a wine snob but, I have tasted good wine, bad wine and home-made wine.  I just favor the good wine.  To me, there is a definite difference between many of the $9 wines and $30 wines.  Now, I admit I don’t fully understand the “essences of black fruit, caramel and exhaust” as a description of wines nor do I understand some being “too oakey”.  But I am learning the differences between Zin, Merlot, Cab, Pinot and blends.   I grasp that each year can yield different tastes, different quality as can specific rows of grape vines in a vineyard yield different flavors.   I have fun reading and learning about pairings and differences in winemaker approach.

A while back, I was turned onto a terrific site for logging all my wine, what I like and don’t, what I served it with and what I paid.  The site is Cellartracker and has the ability to search thousands of wines to reference and learn about.  People offer their opinions and descriptions of wines… “The nose was hot and high-pitched (almost VA) with blackberry. The palate shows candied blackberries and raisins. It’s built to a long finish but overall was simple with limited structure” (Are you kidding?  Have you ever heard a high-pitched wine? … Maybe a friend’s voice after a couple of bottles.)  Anyway, once the cellar is set up, it can be shared with others.  Cellartracker is a great benefit for those who or collect love wine!

I have over 95 bottles in my cellar (read… my back porch) and belong to a couple of wine clubs where I have the ability to get just-released wines at great prices.  But, I also got hooked on a web-based auction of rare wines that has been a blast… my wine voyeurism.  (note: I am posting this just after a recent auction so you won’t compete on the bottles I wanted!)  The site is Spectrum Wine Auctions and is internet-based.  You can join and bid on a Laffite Rothschild or Haut-Brion or Mouton or just watch their prices go up and up.  The auctions appear to be based on consignment from people getting rid of their rare-wine cellars.  There are auction bottles from the 60’s and some go for over $1500.  There are wines that are not available unless you are on their mailing list which have a 10-year wait to join.  They have wines from all over the world and a large list from California and, my fav, Washington.  Last Christmas my family enjoyed a bottle of 1999 Andrew Will Merlot I had stashed away.  It was great and I wanted to find more.  There was a Spectrum auction that December and I bid (and won) 2 additional bottles which I got for $24 each.

So to build up my cellar for retirement, this week I bid on 6 bottles from Washington and Oregon; Pinot Noir, Cabs, Merlot and a blend.  The Cab is a 1997 Leonetti which I hear is good quality but needs to be drunk…oh, darn.  I prebid for all but only committed to around $125 for all which is not bad….I guess. Again, I am having to justify this.  Maybe I will with a glass of good wine in hand….cheers!

Ships Log w6 – Queen’s Orders

Where Are You Going – from Dave Mathews Band

Recently, we were vacationing with my Brother and Sister in-law.   I think I mentioned that my older brother is planning to retire this summer.  We sat around, drinking margaritas and having a good time discussing what it would be like to retire.  Both my brother and I travel extensively which means our wives are home by themselves and have developed a lifestyle to accommodate.

So, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by the comments coming from the ladies.  My sister in-law came out with “all wives should require a contract with their husbands upon retirement”.  She said she was worried about us “guys” being underfoot and having to be with them every moment…  Isn’t that what we are to do?  I guess they have another perception.

This raises BIG issues for us guys.  I mean, we need to document our expectations or, at least, theirs?  Is this to be the the “pre-nup” to retirement…. a sort of Pre-Ret?  I acknowledge there will be change and for some of us, it will be hard to give up the controlling “Manager” in us.  So, I put some thought to this, and a lot of internet searching.  I was not able to find a draft agreement anywhere.  I did find a ‘pre-nup’ agreement but this is for retirement.

So my dear sister…. here goes.  Your draft agreement.  I invite your comments and  additions.  Just one note, let’s not start the  argument over this husband/wifes role thing.  Let’s just start with the traditional roles and work from there.  This is all new folks, ground breaking exercise!  I have attached the file below and the text below that.

Pre-Retirement Agreement

General Summary

Under this Pre-Retirement Agreement, Wife and Husband agree for the Husband to commence with retirement, subject to certain assumptions and defined actions.  Husband has communicated to Wife that retirement will commence on [enter effective date of retirement] and that Wife has accepted this date and both parties have effectively planned and prepared for this date.  On [enter effective date of retirement], the parties agree to abide by said plans and conditions set herein.

Agreement Assumptions and Conditions

Such as retirement is a change in life, it has eventual impact on both parties.  In an effort to minimize impact, the following conditions and assumptions have been defined.  Mutual acceptance of the following conditions and assumptions binds both parties to this agreement.

• Husband agrees to not sell the house or invoke any similar activity that may invoke cost
• Husband agrees to not seriously show interest in 3^rd world countries as a retirement location
• Husband acknowledges Wife’s desire to perform her interests without the Husband requiring tag-along status
• No whining is the acceptable rule
• Husband is to invoke his own interests/hobbies without requiring the Wife to attend or partake in said activities unless the activity is one where mutual involvement was condoned prior to retirement
• Wife is not to intentionally, with or without malice, ditch Husband in any public space including shopping malls, big-box stores, or other locations where Husband must rely on cell-phone service to locate Wife.
• No complaining is an acceptable rule
• Husband is to contribute to the maintenance of household
• The Husband is not to relocate furniture throughout the house without the agreement of Wife prior to said movement
• Either party is not to inquire as to the destination of other party upon that party’s leaving as long as that party has communicated their intention to leave for a given period of time
• It is acceptable for Husband to request “date nights” at any interval and Wife is to accept assuming adequate communication intervals are established and followed
• Surprise gifts provided by either party are an acceptable rule and may take the form of trips, trinkets or other personal items
• Dancing between both parties is an acceptable activity at any time
• It is acceptable for Husband to interact with other retirees for the purpose of sharing interest, stories, and other crony activities as long as he does not continuously bring  up “old Bob” stories such as “Old Bob says that…. or Old Bob did this or that….”
• Husband will not join in Wife’s book club, water aerobics class, manicure appointments, or other Wife activities for the purpose of being close.
• It is not acceptable for Husband to ask Wife “so what will we do today” each morning

Enjoy….. and please let me know your thoughts

Post Retirement – Answering That One Question…

Traveling through the isles in Home Depot, on a weekday no less, I come across an old colleague. The conversation goes something like this….Invariably, I get asked the question I have ben asked numerous times in the last 3 years since I retired….

“Dave, my gosh, I haven’t see you in forever. What are you doing these days”?

And we start talking about others we used to work with, where they are, what they are doing. I try avoid talking about me and that inevitable question. But then he smiles and says “Say, this is funny running into you because I was thinking about you and if you still are consulting? I was thinking of looking you up”. “So what are you doing these days”, he asked again.

Well there it is, unavoidable. The one question that is both hard to answer and who’s answer never sounds accurate. I am just starting my 4^th year post retirement and as I think about an appropriate answer I see short clips before my eyes of working life, travel schedules, being professional and nice to people, and dressing up (well with hard shoes anyway). And I can’t stop wincing and thinking that today’s life is so much richer, so much calmer, so much rewarding. But how to convey that to others when I answer I’m Retired!

“What do you do”?

“I’m Retired” is not accurate nor is “I do nothing”. Being retired doesn’t really answer the question because the definition of retirement is different for everyone. When I answer with “I’m retired” I get a look that reads ‘oh god, another one that sleeps in, sits all day, and spends our social security tax’. I mean yes, I do those things but they don’t define me. How do I get it across that I am busier than I remember when others drove my schedule? I am happier spending money than saving it. I am excited to get up and plan my day over a slow cup of coffee. If I am doing a project and I ‘see a squirrel’, I drop what I am doing and chase it. But, “I am retired now” doesn’t cut it. So what do I do? ….hmm, let’s see…. Now I explore. Yeah, that’s it… Explore.

I explore my creative side with activities I have wanted to do. I do woodworking, painting, crafting of various types not to perfect any particular one, but to explore abilities. I create projects and actually complete some. Together, we “what if”…as we explore changes to the house, the yard, our life.

I stop and watch. I watch what goes on around me. I watch people, what they say, what their stories are and what they do. I take opportunities to meet up with people OUTSIDE A CONFERENCE ROOM. I talk. I stop to watch the trees sway and the birds flit. It is wonderful to have the time to watch and to observe the world around.

I plan. Planning works the northern muscles by doing research into travel destinations, routes, activities and places to see along the way. Dates, stops, timing, distances, side trips all must be planned. Projects need planning, estimating, research. And researching technology changes and how to utilize them takes brain power (and no, my house is still a dumb one). I have gotten good with planning but it sure doesn’t define “what I do”.

So how do I respond to all the people who ask, “what do you do”? I think the best response is “anything I want, anytime I want, anywhere I want”. (within reason of course). I know I can’t avoid the question so I need to have a good answer. What is yours? What do you do?

Post Retire Update – Its Going, Well….

Hi folks. I thought it time to update you on the effects of retirement on our lives. It has now been 3 months since I was receiving twice a month paychecks. Now, we are definitely learning how to spend instead of save (see earlier post).

The biggest change has been the clock, or absence thereof. I have not been ruled by conference calls, travel schedules, or documents due dates. I have not really been interested in the clock unless there is somewhere I wanted to be. I did not expect this to be so refreshing a feeling. You would think, as I previously did, that a retired person has lots of time on their hands and should always be available. Ah yes naïve one. But they also have ownership of their priorities of time. They decide what is important to them, at that time, and tend to dismiss any influences placed upon them. Sort of like a teenager, you think?

So governing my own time has been a learning curve. I have a long way to go. I hate to admit this, since I have long told my children to not use the ‘B’ word, but honestly, I am BORED! It is a hard thing to admit and I am sure it will pass but I need more action, more demands, more drama. So I have made the BIG decision to re-enter the workforce. Yep, fraid so. For a year or two more until my wife decides to retire as well. I have applied to a number of jobs that allow me to explore graphics design, professional editing and consulting. These are fun jobs, areas I want to explore.  And, I will be using my blog experiences and creative writing techniques to build out my portfolio.

So stay tuned and I will provide further updates as things progress.  Oh and have a great April 1^st.

bye

We Did It, We Did It…. Unemployed At 61

I have been writing this blog for a couple of years now, intending on sharing stories of what the voyage looks like as retirement plans take shape and the big day draws near. I shared stories from other retired folks and took light of poems and song lyrics. The path may be very different from one person or couple to another but generally I can sum up my findings as this….

• Plan together – this is, most definitely, a change in lifestyle and opening up of many new options together. My wife put her arm around me and said “this is like getting married again”. Those are the feelings, be ready for them.
• Ask questions – Talk to people. As stated, everyone is different, so ask. Ask what worked, and not, ask what they would do differently. Learn from others so you can better shape expectations and plans.
• Be as concerned with your life change as you are with the financial aspect of retirement. I believe a financial plan is important and there is way too much information out there to read/follow. But finances is not the only part of planning that requires focus. Develop your hobbies, your travel plans, strengthen relationships and focus on who you want to be.
• Develop an exit strategy – Whether you own your own business or work for others, develop a strategy for your exit. My strategy for exit started 3 months prior to my actual date and included actions such as resignation discussion with managers, transitioning clients seamlessly, handing off work files, finalizing financial plans ( 401K rollover, income strategies, stock/pension/Social Security plans), and lastly, updating wills. This way we can move into retirement knowing most critical tasks were covered.
• Lastly, enjoy the journey. You will be flooded with memories, anxiety, elation, well wishes, and that little smirk on your lips tells others…”not my worry now”.

Now that the day has come and our future lifestyle starts to evolve, I find myself noticing things that previously did not occur to me. Friends who have recently transitioned to retirement tell me that they became depressed at the loss of importance, decision making. One said that if it was not for spam, he wouldn’t get any emails. Since I had prepared for that, I transitioned work early and learned to not get involved in work politics and stop offering suggestions/decisions (hard for a consultant to do). No, what I noticed is, I am not concerned with the time. I just realized, I used to watch the clock throughout my day so not to miss a conference call, time enough to finish a project, or make sure I reached someone in another time zone before the end of their day. I looked at the clock on the wall or on my cell phone or on my desk….watch, watch, watch. Now, half way through the day I stop and say “hey, its 2:00 and I haven’t eaten lunch yet….oh well”.

I also don’t necessarily feel it is important to complete a task (much to my wife’s ire). We will see how long that lasts. I do have a mental list of the things I want to get done but I haven’t relinquished to list writing yet….too much like work and creating a project plan…yikes! I know I will forget something important so I have tried to use technology to log projects.

So the next stage it to wait for my instructions to come on where to send my work PC, Blackberry, company card and badge. Then to move funds around to better manage and gain visibility. Then to finalize budgets which we know will change over time.

Oh yeah and finalize plans for travel, woodworking, sailing, putsying in the yard, setting up my trains, waxing the roadster, taking walks, playing drums, setting up a retail business, writing more blogs, more travel, more friends, more dates with wife, more …… later.

The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow….

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow,
I will Retire.
Just thinkin’ about tomorrow
Clear away the emails and files
’til there’s none
All the days will be free of conference calls,
I just pick up my cell phone and grin and pitch it…oh

The sun’ll come out, tomorrow
So I will hang on, ’til tomorrow, come what may!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I’m all done, tomorrow,
Tomorrow is a big, big day!

I love you honey…..another phase on our wonderful life together! And it all starts Tomorrow!

How To Hold A Virtual Retirement Party….Of Sorts

The countdown still continues as we are now at 17 days until the big day – official Retirement! Jan 02 is the day I pack it in, or at least my work computer and the Blackberry that seems to have attached itself to my side these past 14 years. I will place them in the packing box along with anything else that goes back to the company and I post it to UPS with a very fond farewell (read drop kick it). The inbox will have been deleted, all files will be gone, the Blackberry will be silenced and I will cancel my work phone number. The list is short and I am working through the final details as the big day approaches.

I sent out a well-thought-out email yesterday to around 50 key individuals who matter. These were people I worked closely with, mentored/coached and partnered with. It was a little early since there are still a couple of weeks left but, with the holidays, everyone gets caught up in year-end activities and I wanted to say goodbye and give them my best wishes. I didn’t really care if anyone responded back but going out on your own terms, to your own timetable, in your own way is important. Since we all work virtually, we don’t have an office where we assemble so meetings are held via conference calls, live meeting displays and soon, desktop video. Therefore, we do not see each other very often and having a way to say goodbye is difficult. Someone usually sends out a note saying so-in-so “left to follow new interests”, blah, blah, blah. I didn’t want anyone else to send a note, on my behalf, letting folks know I left. So I wrote my own note and gave it to the email gods. That, my friend, was my ‘virtual’ retirement party and with the push of a single button, people were notified of my intentions and thoughts. What I wasn’t prepared for were the many replies to my email which included comments like:

How time flies and you been a great role model for me being a man on integrity in every situation.

Best of luck to you as you begin your new chapter. I will always value the time we spent together.

I am envious, and am perhaps too eager to join you.

What an exciting time for you.  Thank you for sharing your expertise, your passion and your kindness with me.

It was a pleasure working with you and partnering with you over the years.

I wish you all the best and I do want to take the opportunity to thank you!  I learned a lot working alongside you and often draw upon them in my day to day activities.  I appreciate the time you took to mentor and guide me

See what I mean? I have never been one for long goodbyes or big parties but this is Just like a great back-slapping affair without the Hallmark banners. Caught up in world of corporate life, process improvement, statement of work, and others are some really good people. I wish them well, but that little smirk on my face says, yep, dude, you are outta here.

If it wasn’t so early in the day, I would grab my glass and a little single malt for a toast to them and to all the planning that went into this day. But that can wait for Jan 02.

Get Ready, ‘Cause Here I Come…. House Cleaning

Get Ready….Great song….Rare Earth. Remember it?

We are getting ready for the event of our lifetime and our attention is focused on house cleaning. I don’t speak of just cobwebs and dog dander, but cleaning up contact lists, visiting doctors, and updating wills. There are a number of items to attend to: cleaning out computers, desk drawers, closets of old papers etc. I guess this is a good time to get organized and I know of no one better suited to direct this action than my beloved COO/CFO…

We have set the financial side in action with a visit to our advisor and papers are in order to consolidate and diversify savings. Plans for monthly disbursement are set and he went over all the things we need to think about as we sail toward R-Day. He reminded us about the need to focus on spending instead of saving (captured here). We discussed risk plans concerning what happens if … and made sure all our beneficiaries are updated including the use of our family trust. We asked about the need for additional life insurance and he spoke candidly saying that as long as we are comfortable with income levels from savings (meaning budgets) then added insurance shouldn’t matter. We share the income and assets and are not trying to protect an income….a VERY different way to think about the future.

Then we went to our lawyer to update our wills and trust paperwork. This is when the inevitability of the future sets in. Our lawyer is a friend and after 30 minutes of catching up on the families (what did that cost?), she got down to the task of updating the documents. When updating wills, you are forced to think about what ifs. What if I go before my wife? What if she goes before me? What if both of us go together? What if both of us go at the same time and ….geez this gets hard quick. We got off onto the subject of my IRA and taxation during transfer when she reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a table. She asked my how old I am….okay, 61. She said well….looking at the Life Expectancy table, she said that the insurance industry expects me to live for another 17.3 years. But since we have an IRA, that expands to 18.6 years! Weeeee….I am sooo happy I have an IRA then…right? Come On Man… Are you kidding, I thought. I’ve got to show them.

 

From the Social Security Site….

Okay, I am not 40 anymore…nor 50. And I ache at times and don’t have all the stamina I once had. Those are hard facts to swallow but everyone goes through it….right? But I refuse to governed by laws of averages. So back on my exer-cycle and skipping my afternoon scone. I will show them…..hufff…..hufff….huff.

I now have a new goal, to beat the averages in a BIG way!

 

Oh…. One more house cleaning task…..